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Unless you’ve been under quarantine for Bubonic Plague, you know about the Mayweather- Pacquiao fight last Saturday.  SH and I attended a friend’s party and watched the spectacle on pay-per-view.  I knew nothing of boxing, so I decided to tell you about it from this neophyte’s point of view.  Normally, I find lists a bit shallow, so this is the perfect topic about which to write a list.

  1. Boxing is important to a lot of people. I learned this when they had to delay the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight due to the many folks that were trying to buy the pay-per-view of the fight.
  2. Boxing is a little higher up on the social ladder than Wrestling. I know this because the girls who hold up the round numbers in boxing have sequins on their bikini tops and they do not engage in girl fights between bouts.  They also wear more make-up than the wrestling gals.  Draw your own correlation regarding my social status and my intimate knowledge of wrestling.
  3. Boxers make a lot of money. They make six figures per second.  Per second, I make… what do you call the complete absence of a number?  Firefighters, police officers, and teachers don’t calculate their pay by the second, even though they serve their communities in invaluable ways.  I think the world is so bass-ackward sometimes.
  4. Actors, athletes, and musicians like boxers. They all seem to know one another.  Boxers are a whole category of celebrity that I didn’t know about.  Justin Bieber is in the Mayweather camp, and when he cleans up he looks just like a teenager going to the prom.  Robert De Niro is a boxing fan, and so are Jay-Z and Beyoncé.  Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff sat in the front row.  They both looked like someone had kidnapped their kids and they had to sit through the match as a way to pay the ransom.
  5. The gamesmanship in boxing is similar to the gamesmanship in wrestling. The boxers come out with their entourages.  Pacquiao’s camp tried to make fun of Mayweather’s camp by taking selfies and having Jimmy Kimmel accompany Pacquiao to the ring wearing an orthodox Jewish hat and a bunch of necklaces around his neck.  This was just strange to me, although the boxing lovers in our viewing group thought Pacquiao’s opening act was hilarious.
  6. During the match, smack talking is allowed. Mayweather talked to Pacquiao non-stop.  At one point, Pacquiao had Mayweather up against the ropes.  As Pacquiao dealt one punch after another to Mayweather’s face, Mayweather looked at him and said, “No.”  He did this about three times.  I had the cynical thought that perhaps Mayweather was really saying, “No, don’t knock me out.  You know you’re supposed to lose this fight.”
  7. When the boxers sit on those little stools between each round, sometimes they hire a guy to hold open the waistband of their shorts. I can only surmise this is to give the “boys,” some much needed air.  And while we’re on the subject of shorts, the boxing shorts are enormous.  I do not know why.
  8. Here is how boxing matches are scored: Three judges sit and watch the fight.  They count the number of times each boxer hits the other one.  That’s it.  If one boxer doesn’t manage to knock the other boxer out, the winner is the one who connects the most punches to his opponent. It seems like they should get more credit for hitting on the face and less for punching each other in the stomach.
  9. There is no penalty for leaning on the ropes to catch your breath. Mayweather did this an unbelievable number of times.  One of the people watching with me said it was a tactic.  He said Mayweather was trying to make Pacquiao wear himself out while he, Mayweather, rested.  In my opinion, this made for a boring viewing experience.  Not that anyone cares about the quality of my viewing experience.
  10. Boxers, like wrestlers, hug. A lot.  I guess this is another move to make when you are tired and you want the referee to come and break you up.  I equate this to starting up a fight on the playground, but only when you know the teacher is watching.  This hugging did nothing to ramp up my interest level.   Maybe if the shorts weren’t so enormous….